如无必要

我很震惊。

我看到了几乎所有最近困扰着我的问题的答案，在长洱的《犯罪心理》和《天才基本法》里。

如果说犯罪心理讲的是人性，那么天才基本法讲的就是人生，它们还讲述着真理与梦想。

这是两本我几年前已经看过的小说，准确来说，《犯罪心理》看了好几遍，《天才基本法》是言情且当时连载又比较慢热所有我追到一半所以弃了。

连着几天看完这两本书后，我做的第一件事是去操场上跑30圈，哪怕太阳公公在微笑（微笑.jpg）。不带手机不带眼镜，这是一件我若干年没有做的事情。

以上是昨天写的，今天断片了。

昨天大概还想扯一下自己与犯罪心理的不解之缘。

最后学习了心理学是很大的巧合，1/80的志愿，差点就去学了金融或者翻译，但不可否认，风墟的知乎回答和长洱的犯罪心理是我开始想学心理学的原因。

高三看的时候，我为他们的爱情而震撼，也为集体无意识，电车难题，舆论杀人等而感慨。这是高三唯二的乐趣，当年看了好几遍。

现在看的时候，我意识到她曾经一定是一个心理学学生。生理心理学，心理咨询，进化心理学，人格心理学，变态心理学，心理测量学，心理统计学等，甚至心理学科研的内容都有在文中涉及；危机干预，谈判这些具体的应用；与心理学相关的哲学，社会学；对道德问题、人性的思考；甚至在天才基本法里偶尔出现的一些心理学术语，我不相信一个非科班生可以做到如此系统。

我很感谢，有一个人能够做到，用故事的方式呈现真正的心理学，并让人们无比喜爱，深受启发；我很感谢，有一个人走在了前面告诉我，在心理学里我遇到的问题她都遇到过，而她依旧相信人，相信人性，相信真理，相信梦想。

我的梦想也从来没有变过。写一个故事，一个无比美妙的故事。

此外，以后我想我都更多使用英文来写了——为了练习英语。

这是今天的想法。

I used to have a dream.

A dream that I will write a brilliant novel.

I used to love mathematics.

Well, I give it up in high school.

So when I was running, I was thinking about the dream I have ever had and the good thing I have lost.

We're taught to be realism.   

While, to be honest, It's just a nightmare for an idealist to learn reality.

There was a long time I just get confused at the what humanity is.   

Our nature is evil or it's good.

When I was a freshman, I was convinced that humanity is great and what we should do is just to dig out the greatness in them.

The second semester of my senior year, I just get confused. Everyone has shortcomings and no one can escape the weakness of human nature. There are always so many people who blamed others for their own mistakes. And most of the time I'm one of them. I lost my vitality, getting tired of helping people.

And my current point of view are as follows.

Human nature can never be simply divided into good and evil. In fact,  We all have good and bad sides and all one has to do is let his goodness override his evil.  And for the human communities, to ensure that the good guys defeat the bad guys. It seems a tragedy to spend one's life doing these, we may call those who devote their life to something can never be achieved a pathetic idealist. But that's the only reason they exist. Some people live, he's dead, some people die, he's alive. 

There was a long time I just get confused at what should I live for.

Now the answer is obvious. For the ideal and the truth. I won't be at a loss anymore. Thank god.

I'll go back to math and practice writing from now on.

I will get rid of the phone, write on paper and rediscover the human mind. 

I will try my best to do everything in my life and get close to the truth.

I'll be humble about everything.